Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
