i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
