yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
