Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
