weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
