return my video game
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
