I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
