this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
