Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
