Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize