Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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