I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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