Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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