Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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