YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
