would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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