matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
