Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
