She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
