Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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