Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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