I think my vagina is haunted
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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