I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
