I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
