I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
