My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
