But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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