Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
