ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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