How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize