Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
