I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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