ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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