We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
