they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
