Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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