Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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