didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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