Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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