escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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