As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
