I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
