The maid of honor just puked.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
