He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
