ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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