she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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