but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
