This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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