Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
