This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
