I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
A bitchslap is in order.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
