I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
