Umm I'm too high to move.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
