when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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