i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize