Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
